There are a lot of things that take up our mental energy — be it the more mundane and necessary (like grocery shopping, preparing and cooking meals, car maintenance, cleaning, work) to the more unfortunate (national politics, social media, et al.). Every part of this takes some amount of our energy, and we don’t always feel like we get to choose which parts take the most energy. On any given day it might be a news story or the chore of cutting sweet potatoes that feels like it is the straw that will break the proverbial camel’s back. When I’m feeling overwhelmed by something, I have something I like to do (wholly in thanks to Rolf Gates, the greatest teacher of my life, and the person who said this quote to me) — I like to repeat a mantra, aloud, often in front of my daughter, to try to teach her what I’m still trying to learn (and will spend my entire life striving to embody).
“We show up, burn brightly in the moment, live passionately, hold nothing back, and when the moment is over, our work is done, we step back and let go.” – Rolf Gates
As a person who has never been into motivational quotes (I can reach for the moon all I want, but those proverbial stars don’t do it for me), this one manages to speak to me deeply. In every moment we have a choice for how we react, and our children see (and seemingly remember) every single choice we make (especially our bad choices). So when I’m getting upset about an absurd human or a potato I try to remember that I can do this, to the best of my ability, with all of myself, even if just for a moment, and then I can let go of what I’m feeling, of that which otherwise would hold me and take me away from the pure joy of parenthood. To me, if I can offer just one thing to my daughter (other than a certain level of safety, security and joy), it would be this message and this mindset. I’m still working on it, but it’d be nice for the next generation to get an earlier start with this message than my generation did.
— Andrew Fersch is an educator who runs an alternative education program out of Rochester, Vt., The Penn Program. He is the fortunate father of a delightful five-year-old and the grateful husband of author Chelsea Steinauer-Scudder.
Do you have a story to share about life with young kids in Addison County? We’d love to hear from you! Email [email protected].