My daughter, Simone, is not yet two and she’s found her favorite pastime: playing the role of her older brother, Josiah. She does it with full commitment. A true method actor, she stays in character all day long, mimicking his every gesture, sound and phrase.
Josiah announces, with the flat confidence of a four-year-old rehearsing a monologue, “I am a poopy.” Simone hears this and repeats it back, “No, I am a poopy.”
She’s only just starting to talk, a handful of words on repeat, with barely an idea of what they mean. But words here are almost beside the point, she’s not studying vocabulary. She’s studying Josiah. Watch her carefully and you see it, she’s memorizing him: the lean before he turns, the exact fling of his arm when he’s excited, the particular pitch of his laugh.
This tracks with something I see in my voice studio: the body learns the shape of a thing long before it understands the meaning of it. A student will nail the physical sensation of a note, the lift and placement, before they can explain what they just did. Understanding comes later, sometimes much later. The shape always comes first.
Simone doesn’t know “I am a poopy” is a joke, or even really a sentence. She knows it’s a shape Josiah made with his whole self, and she wants to make it too.
She’s trying the physical stuff too, and failing in the most endearing way possible. Her handstands are really more of a suggestion of a handstand, she’s nowhere near upside down, but she keeps trying. Every attempt gets her an inch closer. She’s not waiting for direction. She only knows that Josiah can do it, so eventually, she will too.
It’s very funny to watch a method actor who hasn’t read the script yet, repeating lines she doesn’t understand, attempting handstands built entirely on faith. But underneath it is something quietly moving: this is how she says I love you before she has the words for it.
Josiah, four years old and utterly unaware of his own influence, has become someone’s first idea of who to become. He doesn’t know he’s teaching her anything. He’s just being loud and four. But she’s taking notes with her whole body, and one of these days, her hips are going to clear her shoulders, and she’s going to land the handstand.
– Vanessa Dunleavy is a voice studio owner and yoga educator, and a performer currently rehearsing the role of mother of two. Learn more at vanessadunleavy.com.